Authors explore 'hoarding and other family secrets'
In 2016, Deborah Derrickson Kossmann was living her own episode of “Hoarders,” emptying junk from her mother’s house in suburban New Jersey. It had been almost 20 years since anyone was allowed inside, and nothing, not even a Psy.D. in clinical psychology, had prepared Kossmann for what she found.
She wrote: “(T)here hadn’t been trash put outside for the last fifteen years. All that garbage is here, not only her own excrement but containers filled with leftovers like a liquified turkey club sandwich. There are chicken bones, apple cores, empty milk cartons, and a half-eaten jar of peanut butter, all of it just thrown on top of piles. She’s made her life a literal dump. Why is she unable to part with her own trash?”
In the newly published Lost Found Kept: A Memoir (Trio House Press), Kossmann reveals her mom’s mental illness and her stepfather’s abuses. It shows Kossmann contending with her memories, her anger, and her grief.
The memoir’s vivid writing conveys not only the shocking detritus in her mom’s home, but also the strength and humor Kossmann’s mother passed on to Deb and her sister. Amidst the junk, it movingly portrays the profound love of her family. During the cleanup, Kossmann and her husband, Marc, hold each other, clean each other up, and sometimes dissolve into dark, hysterical laughter.
A mutual friend, Fran Lissemore, who, like me, lives in Cleveland Heights, brought me and Deb together because my 2016 memoir, Missing: Coming to Terms with a Borderline Mother (Red Giant Books), shares many themes with Kossmann’s book: a mother’s mental illness, a challenging childhood, and our attempts as adults to, as much as possible, “part with (our) own trash.”
On March 1, 5 p.m., Mac’s Backs-Books on Coventry will host “Hoarding and Other Family Secrets: A Reading and Discussion.” Deb and I will read from our books, answer questions, and talk about mothers and writing. Come see us, and check out our websites: www.lostfoundkept.com and www.kathyewing.com.
Kathy Ewing
Kathy Ewing has lived in Cleveland Heights for 40 years. In addition to her memoir, Missing: Coming to Terms with a Borderline Mother, she has published Lead Me, Guide Me: The Life and Example of Father Dan Begin (Shanti Arts, 2020) and A Grandmother's ABC Book (Shanti Arts, 2023). She taught Latin at Cleveland State University and blogs at www.kathyewing.com.