Side by side: Doing the right thing for your relationship

Love is blind. Or is it? When you met your mate, he or she had idiosyncrasies. Whether your mate flossed his teeth with a piece of his own hair, or she bit her cuticles into the shape of Disney characters, your partner eventually exposed his or her quirks.

In the beginning, you overlooked your mate’s “flaws.” Now you’re married or in a committed relationship and things aren’t going so well. Your day-to-day conversations are short, you argue more frequently, and you can’t remember the last time you touched, other than by accident. To top it off, your mate’s once inconsequential quirks are driving you crazy.

You may not realize it, but you are at a crossroads in your relationship. Although you may have reached a point when you need to consider hiring a professional, there is something you can do immediately to avert what could be a relationship train wreck.

Each day force yourself to notice something your mate is doing “right” and record it in a notebook. At the end of the week, you will have a list of many things your mate isn’t doing wrong. Make this a daily ritual and your relationship will begin to turn course.

Many relationships go sour in large part because of how partners view each other over time. You’ve heard the expression, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?” In this case right IS happy.

Kathy Dawson is a Cleveland Heights-based relationship coach and author. Learn more at

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Volume 2, Issue 4, Posted 1:42 PM, 03.24.2009